A huge goal in this blog is to reach out to others that feel seemingly stuck in “eating disordered thinking”. In my own quest, I have found that it’s not about the food or how, when or what I eat – it’s about what my thinking tells me about all of it. That has turned out to be the cornerstone of my recovery. I have had many old stories that have played on and on in my head sounding like broken records! I have learned that those stories that I thought were gospel, just were not true!
I have tried many, many approaches to rid myself of the eating disordered thinking. In fact, in that statement lays a clue as to one of the reasons why it wasn’t leaving! I was trying to rid myself of it as if it were a terrible plague that I had inflicted on myself. That just was not the case! These issues have actually turned out to be my greatest teachers. In accepting myself and my disordered eating, I have found it to be a gateway to my feelings, something that I have always tried to avoid at all costs.
Over the past year there have been what I call “God-Wink” moments that has set me in the direction of recovery. I had to wait until the timing was right, until I was ready. It was time to commit to my own recovery as this poem by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe attests:
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy.
The chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation).
There is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills
Countless ideas and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
Then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would
Never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
Raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents
And meetings and material assistance,
Which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Begin it now.
How about you? Are you ready to commit to losing disordered eating thinking? Are you ready to find the amazing you!?
